Out of the Darkness

Every 18 minutes in the United States, someone dies by suicide.

This fall thousands of men and women will walk in over 70 communities across the United States, each contributing their voices to break the silence surrounding suicide. Walk to save lives...By walking in the 2006 Out of the Darkness Community Walks to benefit the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP), you will be walking with thousands of people nationwide to raise money for AFSP's vital research and education programs to prevent suicide and save lives, increase national awareness about depression and suicide, and assist survivors of suicide loss.

Walk in honor of a loved one...Many of our participants walk in memory of a loved one lost to suicide.

This is what I will be doing this Saturday morning. With my family and friends; walking out of the darkness. My life has been personally and tragically affected by suicide. My grandmother committed suicide when I was in the sixth grade. I could never understand why or how she could do that until I was in my twenty's and faced a deep haunting depression that fought to take my life. By the grace of God I made it through that time in my life. However, I recently have again been haunted by thoughts that are trying to steal my light. BUT the LIGHT that is in me, Jesus Christ, is more powerful and he loves me so much more than I can imagine. I have had amazing an amazing husband and friends to confide the thing that wanted to stay in the darkness-they listened-and helped me fight. By bringing this secret out into the light and letting all that care to see see I know that only God and God alone will get the glory in my life.

Ephesians 5:8-14 (New International Version)
For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light(for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) and find out what pleases the Lord. Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. For it is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret. But everything exposed by the light becomes visible, for it is light that makes everything visible. This is why it is said: "Wake up, O sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you."

And while I question the "why" of going through this I do not question the "how" watch me. I am coming out of the darkness.

Isaiah 9:2 (New International Version)The people walking in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of the shadow of death a light has dawned.

I read in a World Vision magazine "Have you noticed that any source of light looks brighter and more powerful at night? The darker the darkness, the more dazzling a light appears. I've found that the same is true of the light of the gospel. It shines most brilliantly when it pierces the world's darkest corners." (World Vision/Winter 2006/p4)

How can a cherished wife and the loving mother of two, who takes every opportunity to praise her God and serve Him ever contemplate suicide? Because I have an enemy that stalks his prey like a roaring lion seeking whom he can devour (1 Peter 5:8). I looked lame on the battle field, worn down from a war that I wasn't even fighting but the enemy underestimates the power of Christ in me. I do not fight alone. While I don't know all the whys, I know this time has a purpose- I know because this has been made so real to me: the reality of facing death--I cherish life more. I find pleasure in simple things. I am seeking to do the things I have always wanted to do. I am walking to signify to my Lord, myself, my family, and my friends that I want to walk out of the darkness. It is Christ who works in me to will and do His good pleasure. The Lord delights Himself in me… broken, but made whole in Him. (Philippians 2:13, 1 Kings 10:9, Matthew 15:31)

I am coming out of the darkness; fighting for my life, riding on the shoulders of my daddy because I am too weak to walk.

If you care to support me personally as I walk you can donate by clicking here.