Okay, friends! This is a modified email I am going to share with you. This is an email response to my friend Joan after I hadn't heard from her in several days. She was supposed to be going to a conference and I wasn't sure if she made it…I think you will follow along from there. The best thing about this is it is true!

In response to am email from Joan telling me she was okay and alive…

I'll tell the police you are okay--just kidding!

So I figured I would tell you in person what all I thought when I hadn't heard from you-but then I thought "she is going to have too much to tell me about why she was MIA" and so I would cut the story short and it will lose its impact; so, hey, I said to myself, "why not write it out-I mean you're a.m. schedule is cleared now that you don't have to call the police, FBI, neighbors, etc"

So let me recap the basic order of events:

Okay so I spoke to you Wednesday-you told me all you were going to get your oil changed, DL, etc. to get ready to go out of town for your conference.

Thursday I was sick but literally all through the day I kept praying for you

6am I hope Joan is up and getting ready (went back to sleep)

10a God please be with Joan and I hope she is out of Jacksonville (back to sleep), 4:30p Lord I pray Joan made it on time and is okay (on the couch back to sleep)...

Friday- I am sure she is at the conference and busy... It's all good. Later on in the afternoon....Maybe she never went, maybe she never made it, maybe she was kidnapped at a rest stop and 100 illegal immigrants are having their way with her. Maybe I should call and check-hum-I'll leave her a message so she knows I am worried and during a break she'll tell me she's okay and busy and blah, blah...

I spoke to Jennifer R Friday evening and she said she had talked to you so I at least knew you were alive at that point. Figured I'd hear from you eventually-not really worried anymore. Maybe a little...

Saturday-Hum, it's weird that I still haven't heard from Joan. "Trent I am a bit concerned about Joan-I never heard from her" etc. Brushed it off…

Sunday am, "okay I am a little freaked out about my friend"-"is the conference over today? Maybe she'll call on the way home"--fast forward eve-(I left Joan a voice mail that I was concerned and if I didn't hear from her by tomorrow I was going to notify the police and that I hoped she wasn't dead cause the worms would be eating her by three days)
My phone rings at 9:30pm- my heart says 'it's about time! She is okay" NOPE-not you-UGH!

Now! I am really worried-should have been more specific in my message to CALL ME

IMMEDIATELY!! Watching the Oscar's--go to bed and I CAN'T SLEEP cause this is what is running through my head:

When the cops want to know how long she has been missing-should I give the date I last heard from her or Friday?
How can I get a hold of Barb-you know I don't even know her last name.
Maybe some stranger came to her house and is having his way with her
Maybe she never left and it was too much with all she is dealing with and she had her way with herself
Who can I get to go over and see if her car is there? Maybe Clay?
How do I explain this to people without causing alarm but with expressing the sense of urgency?
If her dead body is in the house, how will it look that I didn't send someone to check on her sooner?
If she was in a crash on the highway they wouldn't really know who she is because of all the different identities because of former last names and the FBI would be called in and really how would they find me in South Carolina-oh! Phone records they would listen to your messages after getting a warrant from the judge-that could take some time--okay then they will hear "old messages" and know that it isn't completely unusual for you not to call me back and see that I was concerned so I am not a suspect in your apparent murder! Now I have to convince them that it was ******* who would be a natural suspect! UGH!
Should I call the police now? I mean I know it is 12:00a but technically I said by tomorrow and it is tomorrow isn't it?
Bridge (son)-maybe he heard from her-no that wouldn't make sense-he probably didn't even know she was going out of town—
How could I get a hold of Steve (ex husband)---hum why would I want to-maybe he has information on where she was staying-she is very detailed and maybe gave him the info in case there was an emergency
Should I call her parents and see if they heard from her-well, it wouldn't be unusual for them not to have heard from her either.
Got to get a hold of Barb first thing in the am-BARB (whatever her last name is)
and I am going to my email that has EMI conference info and call them and see if she ever showed up… after I call the police of course!
Monday am like 7:30-I go to MySpace -see new blog sub post by Barb-read it respond-then go to her site and leave Barb a comment to call me—

Then go to my home page --bulletin from Joan (why didn't I see this first!) (Did I mention it was sent LAST night-and I could have read it before I went to bed and slept soundly-but NO! I am an a.m. computer person) - I respond then go to check my msn--hey I am not signed it! UGH! sign in- an email message from you (from last night too)...go on and be completely transparent and show you how truly neurotic I can really be so you NEVER do this to me again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And if I am honest-it is pretty funny now, and seriously these ARE things I thought-No kidding! But this isn't even ALL the things I though cause NO ONE can be THAT transparent:)

I hope were entertained by my retardedness and now you will be aware of the things that start working in my head when I don't hear from you!!!

Love you!

In closing dear friends, I hope you enjoyed a little peek into the secret thoughts of Jen!