Resurrection

Preface: If you have not read my previous 3-4 blogs some of this may not make complete sense. Well, maybe it will make sense but you would have a fuller picture of what has been going on in my life with reading the blogs.

There is an interesting thing about death in the life of a Christian. It is what seperates us from most other religions; resurrection in this life!!! Some believe in life after death but I believe in new life after life. It has happened in this life several times and I am hoping upon hope that it is coming in this life. I feel it. My mind and actions are starting to come into line with this hope and it is encouraging. It is a battle moment by moment to fight the lies. But at least I am fighting.

So, yesterday I went to a medical doctor and a counselor to get help. A huge step for me. I was met in the office of my doctor with a piece of art on the wall; a simple picture of gladiolas. Uninteresting unless you read the caption: Dare to Hope Again by Sophia Dare and
below that, this: "This I recall to my mind, therefore have hope. It is becasue of the Lord's mercies that we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning; great is Thy faithfulness. Lamentations 3:21-23.

How crazy is that? Not crazy at all if you do not believe in coincedences and that God is in control of EVERYTHING! What was the most encouraging hopeful thing was that through a freakishly long unimportant story-they both referred me to the same "Christian Healing Ministry." How amazing is that. Great big sign in neon lights from the Lord. However, even this is not without pain because as I downloaded that application all 6,799,0984 pages of it (exaggerating a bit) I was like oh no, here we go. Deep historical look into my past, the past of my family, and occult
involovement (you would be surprised as I was what is considered occult involvement). It will be interesting to see how this helps me and what I will be on the other side of this because I know it will be a new, new creation!! I am fighting friends. I am being resurrected!

So, as I have said in the past, the Lord often wakes me up to songs to communicate to me. It is our little thing. I listen when I am very sleepy to those subtle nudges sometimes they are songs in my head, but as in these past days (when my head isn't cooperating), it was a song on the radio. I heard the first line and thought-here it comes. THIS IS FOR ME!! "Listen child" I hear the Lord say. How powerful an experience for me!

I came out to greet my husband and said I need you to hear this song. He agreed. Satan really tried to steal my joy because I had internet difficulties, then I called technical support and finally politely hung up on them because the guy was not "listening" to me. Then proceeded to solve the problem myself-but alas i am rambling about things that do not matter except for the fact that I persevered and found the song. Here it is :

Nicol Sponberg-Resurrection
I'm at a loss for words, there's nothing to say
I sit in silence wondering what led me to this place
How did my heart become so lifeless and cold
Where did the passion go?

When all my efforts seem like chasing wind
I've used up all my strength and there's nothing left to give
I've lost the feeling and I'm down to the core I can't fake it anymore.

chorus: Here I am at the end I'm in need of resurrection
Only You can take this empty shell and raise it from the dead
What I've lost to the world what seems far beyond redemption
You can take the pieces in Your hand and make me whole again, again

You speak and all creation falls to its knees
You raise Your hand and calm the waves of the raging sea
You have a way of turning winter to spring
Make something beautiful out of all this suffering

chorus 2: Here I am once again I'm in need of resurrection
Only You can take this empty shell and raise it from the dead
What I've lost to the world what seems far beyond redemption
You can take the pieces in Your hand and make me whole again, again

You have a way of turning winter to spring
Make something beautiful out of all this suffering
chorus

Holy cow! That is an amazing song but the lyrics aren't as powerful without the drama of the music!
Check it out if you desire.

I want you all to know I am not hopeless and my God has continued to be my rock. I am under a spiritual attack. The enemy will not win because the battle has been won on the cross and with the resurrection of Jesus Christ. He will not have my life, the life of my family or the life of my friends. I may feel sad on the outside but on the inside there is a fierce warrior and she is being strengthed day by day. This will be used to bring glory to Christ alone! I am nothing without him and everything in Him!

It is still a battle to breathe some moments, I am "flat" somewhat at times, it is a struggle to do "normal" things but I am pushing through-with God's help and much encouragement from my friends and family. Thank you for allowing me to be real. There is freedom in being who you really are.