It was short lived. 

The idea was great. We do it every year.  Make treats and gifts for our neighbors.

(See FESTIVUS post if you are new and want to learn more.)

Well, this year I decided to add some BAKED treats.  Well, that will never happen again.

because of this.. 

They were supposed to be Poinsetta Cookies. Not only are they ugly, they didn't taste good either. 

Note to self: before you make 8 batches of dough...cook one batch to make sure they taste good.  oh wait self-you won't need to remember that SINCE YOU ARE NEVER BAKING AGAIN!  So reader, take that as a note to YOU.  

These weren't even my first attempt at baking this year. Unfortunately for you, I did not grab my camera to show you the "Ugliest Sugar Cookies" ever!  The hubby and I rolled them out, placed them on parchment paper. Coddled each one with care! When they cooked, it became a BIG SHEET OF WHAT IS THAT? a snowman, star... Elvis on a rollerskate?... and they all puffed up and stuck together.  Did I mention that they were slice and baked... no, well they were!  Roll, cut out, bake. Sounds easy enough... not for me.

Praise God for teenage boys that were happy to consume my ugly cookies and spare the neighbors their fate.  And fortunately for you... I have pictures:

You can see the evidence of headless gingerbread men and "who knows what that is supposed to be" in the pic. I wasn't lying.

While you are all lovely people and surely you will want to tell me "those aren't ugly" and those aren't so bad, and give me a nice pep talk... Let's just laugh about the ugly cookies and tell me about your baking catastrophes because I know ugly when I see it :) and yucky when I taste it. 

So, this is assuredly the end to my baking career. 

Fear not family I will still scoop and bake chocolate chip cookies; but that is IT!  I may still "attempt" (though usually unsuccessful) to make brownies occasionally.  Though don't count on it... I am wounded. 

Beacause you can surely do better--here is the recipe!

I really think they need more SUGAR, but I am not trying.So, if you want to go for it!

Poinsettias Butter Cookies

3/4 cup unsalted butter
1/2 cup sugar
Pinch of salt
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
Red food coloring (about 20 drops)
1 egg
3 ounces cream cheese, softened
2 cups all-purpose flour
Green sprinkles or green M&Ms


In a large, use an electric mixer on medium speed to beat butter, sugar, salt, vanilla, egg and cream cheese. Add food coloring to make dough light red. Stir in flour until just blended. Shape dough into a ball, cover in plastic wrap and refrigerate about 2 hours, or until firm.

Preheat oven to 375°F. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper. Pinch dough into 1 ½-inch balls. Use scissors to make 3 cuts in the top of each ball, about ¾ of the way through. Place ball on cookie sheet and slightly spread sections apart.

Bake 10 to 12 minutes, until sections have began to flatten and edges are set. Sprinkle centers with green sprinkles or press green M&M into the center.


Deborah Ann said...

Haha...knee slapper! Girl, I don't have any luck in the kitchen either. And nooooo I am not going to try your recipe (thanks for the warning though).

I can't count the number of times I tried a new recipe, and then we ate at McDonalds.

Merry Christmas Jen!

Lauren said...

You are hilarious...and making me a little nervous about my baking plans for the afternoon!! ;)

Janet (Latte Lady) said...

Oh dear, bless your dough~ie heart for trying! That alone shows love!


Angie Vik said...

Thanks for a good laugh. I can certainly relate. I had a few flops of my own this season. Nice to know that I'm not the only one.

Laine said...

I was going to comment on what they looked like to me, but then thought better of it.

No, wait, I'm pregnant and thus have no mouth control:
Pigs ears with green M&M's
Housing insulation with green M&M's
Grandma's pink knee highs with green M&M's