I went to Shine 2015 this past weekend. It was a weekend of hard. Also a weekend of confronting the callings and knowing I will be moving into the seasons where obedience to them is going to be required.
I take a nap daily, yesterday... I was awoken to a song and knew it was for me- I felt God impress on me...this is your song.
Second Chance-Rend Collective
Now, I am not in a place where I feel like I need another chance, like walked away from God or anything dramatic like that...but this song so poetically speaks my heart!
I feel like it gives meaning to my name Beautiful Mess even though it was written years after the name existed for me---
So, I am just writing it here to make it plain on tablets (Habakkuk 2:2 of sorts)
Lord, I have been so guilty in the past of trying to perform for You...thinking of the faith walk, like a faith game... I do this and You will do that....THANK YOU that you have freed me from that mindset...let me not walk in old ways of trying to gain others or Your acceptance by performance. Let me stay in this place of being ME--100% wholly Beautiful Mess that I am, ME! Lord I know what you are calling me to and please help me have the faith in myself to accomplish it in Your time. Give me balance in this insane season of life. Give me shield to those that don't understand and let me not look for their approval. Protect the seedling and help me prune, water, fertilize and grow this vision.
I love you Lord. I look forward to all you have to accomplish through me. May I look like love when people look into my eyes.