Hi, My Name is Jen and I am An Addict

This is what is said before anyone speaks in a12-step meeting I attend.  While I am NOT (only caps so rumors don't start) addicted to narcotics, and not presently addicted to any harmful drugs, I have my own addictions.

A good friend said I was addicted the the Word of the Lord :)  Alleluia!  While I know there have been times I have needed God's Word more than food. Not sure I would define it as more than a crackhead needed his crack but I WISH I was more addicted!

Click here to be taken to the NA site if you need more information

It's difficult to explain what the Lord is doing in my life right now.

The best way I can describe it is I feel like a seed that has been in the ground for sometime, being dormant, watered, fertile but it's all getting ready to burst forth and I don't know what kind of plant I will be but I know it will be beautiful, glorious, Jesus loving plant :)

See, many who know about my recent family addition of having my cousin who is in recovery live with me, praise me.  UGH! It's not me!  It's HE! For those of you that didn't know...now you know.

Every week I sit in Narcotics Anonymous meetings and marvel at how the "church" should be more like this. Truth is it is a church of sorts.  Secret is: I LOVE IT! I am not addicted to narcotics, but I have issues. Being there helps me. I love real life! True stories.  Seeing God save the lost.  I tell my cousin, you think we are there for you...but it's for me too. The Lord has something here for me. I am getting healing. Hope.


I have a reluctance to share, and a quietness (surprise) in my Spirit, to protect what the Lord is doing in my life because of those that have "opinions".

I am scared sometimes at the lack of answers I have about what the Lord is doing...but JUST FOR TODAY...is all I have to deal with. 

I am sad that I sometimes have to say no to things because our schedule doesn't allow for it...but I would rather be a part of what God is doing then be a part of what I want to do. 

I am sad that I can't be two places at once.  I love my family at SRCC, but I have to be where the Lord leads. 

I am happy that everyday I have another chance to get to be LOVE.  and try to model Jesus for another person to see.  even when I fail, fall, and flounder i tried.

I am loving getting to share to journey...hard times, good times, redemptive times with a family member and i realize I don't share enough about where I have been.  I think I may have forgot.  It's nice that this time is helping me remember what the LORD has done!



See, when people praise me/us for what we are doing I realize they don't get it. No offense.  I have no choice, but Christ. I think of Katie, and she gets a ton of praise, but I know her heart is for Jesus. Mine too.

How can I not? How can I not help someone, help themselves. How can I sit in my safe-pretty-little-Christian life and NOT be active in what Jesus is trying to do?
Yes, I feel like I am losing my life.  that is a GOOD thing!

Matthew 16:24-26 ASV

 ²⁴ Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man would come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.
 ²⁵ For whosoever would save his life shall lose it: and whosoever shall lose his life for my sake shall find it.
 ²⁶ For what shall a man be profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and forfeit his life? or what shall a man give in exchange for his life?

I spent my Fourth of July in a state of constant prayer for the "Still Sick and Suffering Addict."  Imagining family difficulty, drama, cookouts with drugs and alcohol that addicts are trying to avoid, those without their children on the holiday...never before have I cared.

The Lord is opening my eyes to a whole new world.  I am grateful! I like to think my prayers helped someone.  If even only me.

Pure Religion

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." 

James 1:27

Yesterday, Bryan Turner, a pastor and missionary passed.  

He was not someone I was close to. However, he was close with many people I love! He was my brother.

We now have the GIFT to care for his wife!  

One of my best-friends, wrote several blogs and I got her permission to share them with you. (well, really I only got permission to share one-but she won't mind) 

The BEST is an emotional one: On Grief 

I am re-posting as I know we are too busy to follow links to good stuff sometimes. 

Grief makes you feel stretched thin. It makes your heart heavy. In its thickest fog, it is blinding. You cannot pull over and wait for it to lift. Your life goes on. The world feels like fiction, like walking around a movie set. Nothing seems real. Time sits still.

Then it fades. You get caught up in something else, and you have an instant when your loss is not on your mind. It is like playing in the ocean as a child. You get caught up in the moment with your friends, and you completely forget that waves are lapping at your back.

That's when it happens. An enormous wave overcomes you, out of nowhere. You find yourself coughing, sputtering, and gasping for air. Your eyes are burning. You can't breathe. You weren't expecting it at all.

I remember a specific moment like this after we lost our son. I had been to the grocery store a week or so after losing him. I was driving home. Ephraim was chattering away in the backseat. The thought then occurred to me that my second little boy would never be sitting back there with him. I wept. Chris Tomlin's "Amazing Grace" came on the radio. "...my God, my Savior, has ransomed me..." I wept. My shoulders shook. My lungs heaved with breath. I was overwhelmed. I was not prepared. One cannot be.


This has been a hard day. My husband had to say goodbye to a friend. My heart is just shattered for his family. Fortunately, I also know what this family is all about... or who. The Turner family loves Jesus. Bryan lived his life in passionate pursuit of our God. His family did and will continue to do the same.

Our God will envelope his wife, lift her head, sustain her, give her unnatural peace and irrational hope. Our God will hold her close when the unexpected waves crash over her. Our God will be her husband, her love, and her comfort. Our God is her all in all. Our God will cover her boys in His fatherly love. Our God will be glorified through Bryan's death, as he was in every moment of Bryan's life. Our God will be lifted high.

I know that God's glory was Bryan's highest purpose. I know his family will find comfort in glorifying God because it is what Bryan would want them to do. I know that his wife and children will be strengthened, comforted, and brought close to the Father. I know that God draws near to the brokenhearted. I know He is in their midst.

I know that grief is hard.

I know that we can help.

At the risk of sounding like a broken record, I am going to beg again for financial help for the Turners. I'll warn you in advance that this won't be the last time.

Imagine yourself in this situation. You are a mother with 2 young sons. Your family's primary breadwinner has been taken from you, and it was completely unexpected. You are devastated. And on top of the crushing emotional grief, the reality of finances weighs heavy. Please join with me to lift this part of the burden from her shoulders. She has enough to carry.

This is pure religion.

Please donate to the Bryan Turner Family Fund at Community First Credit Union. If you cannot make it to the bank, you can mail your gifts to Community First Credit Union, Post Office Box 2600, Jax, FL 32232. The check must be made payable to the Bryan Turner Family Fund.

(I will be brainstorming some creative fundraising ideas in the coming weeks. Tell me your ideas, and join with me.)

Then there is: Rubber Meets Road

Those of you who've known me awhile know that I don't mind asking for money when it's for a good cause. I've got a good cause for you.

Bryan Turner.

He is his family's primary breadwinner. Momma friends, I know it is really difficult to even imagine the financially dire situation most of us would be in if our husbands were hospitalized and unable to work. Well, this isn't imagination. This is real life. Please help take the financial concerns off Joy's plate. She should not even have to give this aspect of her life a second thought.

Acts 2:44-45 - "All the believers were together and had everything in common. Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need."

Acts 4:32-37 - "All the believers were one in heart and mind. No one claimed that any of his possessions was his own, but they shared everything they had. With great power the apostles continued to testify to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus, and much grace was upon them all. There were no needy persons among them. For from time to time those who owned lands or houses sold them, brought the money from the sales and put it at the apostles' feet, and it was distributed to anyone as he had need.

Joseph, a Levite from Cyprus, whom the apostles called Barnabas (which means Son of Encouragement), sold a field he owned and brought the money and put it at the apostles' feet."


This is the body. This is our job. 


There is an account set up at Community First Credit Union, The Bryan Turner Family Fund. Please give. Make a sacrifice and help this Momma.


John 13:35 - "By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." 


Love is a verb.


So let's not just PRAY for Bryan, let's PAY for Bryan. And may God receive all the glory for His people doing what He's called us to do, bear each other's burdens.


Thank you, thank you, thank you!

{Heart} 4 Homeless Action Day

 My son's mission project was a huge success. Way to go SRCC and body of Christ! Way to show the love of God... and to allow the least of these to be JESUS to us. (Matthew 25:31-46)  

{Heart}4 Homeless is a ministry my son started.  (Click the link and read the story behind the ministry.)  Well, Sunday was "action day".  

I am realizing that I never posted about the actual "assembling" of the kits at the youth lock-in; oops! 

WE INTERRUPT THIS POST FOR A PREVIOUSLY SCHEDULED POST (quickie version):

The youth that attended the "Youth  pop-N-Lock" on New Years Eve,  let their first act of service this New Year be making kits for the homeless and writing a personal note for each one.  It was amazing!

 

Trent, Me, & Hunter standing before the table of donations (/\)

The youth writing personal notes to include in the kits.  (/\) (\/)

Blessed my heart seeing the lengths that these youth went to to make it PERSONAL & MEANINGFUL!

The kits! (/\)

WE NOW RETURN TO YOUR PREVIOUSLY SCHEDULED POST:

 We gathered and delivered the care packages to the local homeless. 

I realize the picture looks like the park was empty but they actually served around 50 homeless people that day.  It's a big park and you can't see it all in the pic. I also didn't want to violate peoples privacy by taking their picture. 

(/\)Except this was a picture I could not miss. So touching. The HEART of this ministry!

Priceless friendships! What a beautiful day being ministered to by JESUS (Matthew 25:31-46). 

 

FESTIVUS

Each year our family celebrates FESTIVUS.  If you ever watched Seinfeld you might have heard of the holiday, however our family does not participate with the Festivus Pole or Airing of Grievances.  We make gifts and treats for neighbors.

Here is my Grandog Snickers dressed for the holiday

though he doesn't look too happy about it :)

Making bead ornaments

(check out Snickers :)

Below: Peddling their wares

 

 

 

These weren't earrings-but they could be :)

I interrupt this post for a random ZEKE photo!

Chocolate covered pretzels

My baby makes FUDGE!

Thanks Carnation for making a kit :)

Zeke and "his" ornament

We then watched Elf

check out that married couple on the floor

Ha! Sound Asleep!  even Snickers!

Another Zeke shot

and while it is not the best shot of me-HE is the cutest!

and we also celebrated the birthday of our neighbor Heather!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY~!~

Showing off her SUUBI necklace!

It was a lot of fun! It always is!  but there is still SOOOOOO much to do.

Trent and I attempted to bake sugar cookies yesterday. Let's just say I think I'll stick to "no-bake" items.  They were ugly, didn't taste very good, but thankfully hungry teenagers aren't picky. Hunter and his friends consumed them all saving the neighbors from their fate.

I am getting ready to go cook "poinsetta cookies" I don't want to after yesterday's catastrophe but I already made the dough. So here I go...


Happy Festivus!  Do something great for your neighbors!

{Heart} 4 Homeless

Sorry fellow bloggers. I have been away and busy.  I have had in mind to post this since last Wednesday and here it is Sunday and I am just getting to writing.  Ugh!  I already have another post to write about all our family festivities from yesterday-so needless to say, I am running a bit behind :))

My "dashboard" overwhelms me and there is no way I am going to catch up. So, if you wrote something especially awesome that I probably missed, leave me a link in the comments. 
___________________________
Now onto the post.

We are reading RED LETTERS: Living a Faith That Bleeds by Tom Davis for school. It comes highly recommended and let me tell you, it is AWESOME!  Hard, and awesome! 

You are about to witness one of my great WHY I LOVE HOMESCHOOLING MOMENTS! 

So, Hunter (15yr old) is reading about "the least of these" lessons in this book.  I then assign him to write down all the activities in his life for the last week.  I then asked him to evaluate "when" he served the thirsty, hungry, stranger, offered clothing, oppressed, prisoner, etc.  Well, his answer was never, that week.  We then discussed passion. "Hunter, what are you passionate about, what has God put in your heart that you just can't get out of your mind"  For me, it is the orphan, Africa, for him it's different.  Being his mom I knew what it was.

When I think of Hunter's prayer life, I think of James 5:16.  The fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.  This verse sums up my boy.  He doesn't pray for a million different things. He prays for a few things for his ENTIRE life {so far}!  One prayer is for his uncle Jason to stop smoking and the other is for the HOMELESS.  Since he was 4. Both things.  Yes, other things come and go, but  these two things always.  It is a little joke that still comes up from Sunday School teaches past-but it is no joke :)   As age and wisdom comes Hunter has discovered new depths to the realities of what he is praying for in those things.  Like, at times he has wanted to give up on his uncle ever quitting smoking, and has come to know the issues are much larger than just that.  The homeless, it is more than them just having a home, so much more. 

I said "Hunter if you were going to help the least of these as in this scripture what would you be passionate about?"-of course it was the homeless.  Then posed the "what do you want to do"  again naturally went to something we have done before, but he wanted to do more.  We brainstormed, came up with a plan, then he called his youth pastor to see if he could meet with him and share the idea. 

Last year on several occasions we collected items to pass out to the homeless, made "survival kits" with necessities. We got together with friends to pass out gloves, blankets, cocoa, different things on different occasions.  It blessed my heart to drive around down town and have my son get out of the car, offer a blanket, shake hands, introduce himself, and look a broken man in the eye.  Many are Veterans, many Christians, it just blessed my heart. 

So, a year later, he is taking it to his church. Asking others for donations. Then at the New Year's Eve lock-in the youth will assemble to kits and write notes to go inside.  Then Jan 24th they will go distribute them.  He got up at the end of service and shared Matthew 25 and his vision.  For the first time speaking to a group.  I was am so proud!

Hunter modeling a finished kit. 

 

 A display box of items that only cost $1

First Aid Kit, Toothbrush & Paste, Rain Pnchos, Tissues, Lip Balm, Beanie, etc.

 

Other things we are collecting

Water bottles, crackers, socks, gloves, zipper bags

Hunter really wanted to put a bible in the bag and we did find a new testament at the d*llar st*re but the text is very small.  However, a little googling and I found a gift that we are buy Hunter for Christmas to put in his kits.  It is a booklet about Jesus called He Had No Home targeted for homeless.  He will be so excited. 

So, I shared that little story in a rushed way (hey I warned you I was behind).  I wanted you guys to pray for my son. Pray for those who this ministry will touch. 

This quote is on the header of one of my favorite blogs-I LOVE how it is worded:

"For I was hungry, while you had all you needed. I was thirsty, but you drank bottled water. I was a stranger, and you wanted me deported. I needed clothes, but you needed more clothes. I was sick, and you pointed out the behaviors that led to my sickness. I was in prison, and you said I was getting what I deserved...whatever you have done to the least of these, you've done it to Me." Matthew 25 according to Richard Stearns, President of World Vision

My son is not a hero, he is not doing some great thing, he is simply serving Jesus.  Like we ALL should do.  What is your passion?  How can you serve? 

SUUBI (Hope)

I have requested to be a part of the "SPREAD" campaign where Hunter and I will sell the necklaces featured in the video.

More information coming soon...

http://lightgivesheat.org

Extreme Makeover: Jesus Style

This morning I read this blog and wanted to send the link: Practical Faith: Choosing my Master

I reference this blog regularly as it just always has good, insightful teaching. This morning as I read it, I was convicted about an issue that had been brought along that I had committed to pray about. While I have prayed about it, I have not PRAYED about it and made it a priority. Here is what was a kick in the teeth, for me:

Treasure in heaven is not about stuff but seems to refer to doing good for others. Jesus said, “If you want to be perfect, go, sell what you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me.” (Matthew 19:21)

Paul later wrote, “Command those who are rich in this present age not to be haughty, nor to trust in uncertain riches but in the living God, who gives us richly all things to enjoy. Let them do good, that they be rich in good works, ready to give, willing to share, storing up for themselves a good foundation for the time to come, that they may lay hold on eternal life.” (1 Timothy 6:17-19)

From these and other passages, I gather that it is not wrong to be rich or have stuff. God is more concerned with my priorities and what I do with what I have. As Jesus said, if I prioritize having stuff, I cannot be at the same time concerned about serving Him.

Perhaps the problem in North America is not the lack of teaching about heaven, but the focus of prosperity and the lack of teaching about the sin of selfishness. My sin nature wants its way all the time, and wants bigger, better, and more stuff. Without continual input from the Word of God and the Holy Spirit, I would be more concerned about accumulation than I would be about doing good and helping others.

I received this email from a dear friend of mine whose baby died in-utero. Her Ransom Everett's life, 19 weeks of it, had a profound effect on future events. I would go into that, but that isn't the purpose of this message, just know that it is true.

I can only imagine how many people she sent this message to. Every person she knows I am sure! I know some of those, a small percentage (sorry for the half-full perspective) forwarded that message on. I know I sent a message about collection for Uganda and got a response from like 4 people out of 34. That is 8.5%! UGH! So, if she sent this to 100 people does that mean 8 people responded? I don't know-I SURE HOPE NOT!

The church CAN do more! We CAN! Do good for others, it won't take much if we all do our part!

Here is an email from her about an issue she felt led to help with. Please consider getting involved. I have a very small readership-so if you would re post this on your blog too, that would be great!

Extreme Makeover – Jesus Style

So I’ve recently become aware of a situation that I’d really like to do something about. That I think, as a member of the body of Christ, I am responsible to do something about. Some of you who will read this will immediately know the situation I am about to share with you. Others of you will not. Please understand that I have “met” this family once. Well, I may have met the husband more than once, but we genuinely have no relationship other than the fact that they are my brother and sister in Christ, and His blood is thicker than water. I tell you that so that you will understand that this family has absolutely no idea that I am doing this. They truly don’t know me. There is no ulterior motive.

Please prayerfully consider what I am about to ask of you.

About a month after we lost our son, this family lost a little girl. In my previous blogs, this was the funeral I mentioned attending, and the only time I’ve ever met them. I remember that one of our mutual friends told me that they too, were self-employed. As self-employed people, they were also uninsured. Over the past several months, I’ve wondered about their medical bills. I’ve thought how blessed we were not to end up with a massive hospital bill weighing on our shoulders after the loss of a child. To me, it would almost feel like having to pay a huge amount of money for the greatest tragedy in my life. I don’t know that I could ever truly have closure without the weight of that bill being lifted off my shoulders.

I learned from another mutual friend that their medical bills are $30,000+. Ugh. Outrageous. Insurmountable. Horrific.

Is it really, though? God has shown Himself as mighty, powerful, and miraculous in my life in the most horrible situations. I truly believe He can do it again for this family.

I watch Extreme Home Makeover every single week. I find it to be a weekly therapeutic cryfest. I also often wonder about the families being assisted. Are they believers? Why haven’t other believers gathered around them and already helped out with this problem? Why haven’t I helped any other believers with a similar problem? Doesn’t the body of Christ have infinitely more power than ABC, Sears, or Ty Pennington? YES, WE DO!

I admit, in the past, I have thought things like, “Well, I don’t know them very well.” “They have their own church. As if there is really such a thing as a different ‘church,’ there’s just the body. I mean, all the believers are going to be spending eternity together, why not love on each other now, even beyond ‘local church’ boundaries.” “There’s nothing I can do. I’m broke too. The economy is horrible.” And on and on. Now, I KNOW that my God is SO much bigger than all of that. If He really lays it on your heart to give, HE WILL MAKE A WAY. That way just might involve sacrifice… but as believers, our lives are lives of sacrifice. Lives of offering.

The Acts church would sooner (and did) sell all of their belongings and share everything in common than allow a brother or sister to be in need. Well, from a mom who’s lost a baby, THIS IS A NEED.

Let’s be a part of something amazing. If only 30 families gave $1000, problem solved! If only 60 families gave $500, problem solved! If only 120 families gave $250, problem solved! This is one of the reasons that the body exists. We can lift up our brother and sister. We can bear this burden for them. We can give them something beautiful and miraculous in the wake of something tragic.

My God is SO MUCH BIGGER THAN $30,000!!!

So, this is our chance to be a part of an Extreme Makeover – Jesus Style. Here’s the difference in Jesus Style Extreme Makeovers. Nobody gets credit. They will not know that any of us had anything to do with this. I will gladly collect on their behalf and then forward it on to their church leaders. Jesus Style Extreme Makeovers don’t have product placements. There isn’t even a tax break. So, if you give, the right hand will not know what the left hand is doing. But Jesus will know.

Once it is finished, and I truly believe that God will use His people to completely eliminate this burden from His children’s shoulders, I believe we are free to shout it from the rooftops! To God be the glory! The world will know us by our love. We can be the city on a hill. I believe we can tell everyone we know of the time when God used His people to pay a massive bill for a family who needed help. This family won’t need the government. This family won’t need an employer. This family won’t need an organization. This family will only need GOD and His people!

Be part of something amazing.

Send me an email at quenifers@gmail.com
If you plan to give, I will send you my contact information and give you the name of the family. My preference would be to collect checks or money orders made out to the family in need.

Get in touch. Let’s blow the roof off this thing.

God, and His people, are far more powerful than anything we face in this life. Let’s lift up the arms of this family so that they can continue to hold His banner high.

Love,
A Daughter of the King

P.S. – Please don’t alter this email to say something like, “Forward to 10 people or God doesn’t love you,” but PLEASE FORWARD IT ON!
Also, this may be unnecessary, but if you know this family, please don’t tell them this is happening.

Re: Reaching Farther

another email I sent:

I wanted to share an update with you all regarding our mission donation to Uganda.

First off THANK YOU for those of you that contributed to this mission project! Whether you gave much, little, or nothing at all you still contributed to this project. Many of you, I don't even know who you are because you donated through our produce co-op. (To those that contributed that way: If you would please send me a note through my blog or email I would like to know who you are so as we get updates I can share them specifically with those interested.)

A story about the collection:

As I packed the box with toothpaste, toothbrushes, pencils and pencil sharpeners I was a bit disappointed at what looked like SO much in bags, looking like so little in a big box. In my ignorance about collecting, this being my first time, I thought I may get so much it would fill my car and I would drive it down to Orlando. However, after the response, I heard from 4 people, I thought shipping my one measly box would be cheaper ;).

As I looked at this box, I greatly considered finding a smaller box because it looked pitifully empty. I knew I had to wait, because I had some donation money to still buy underwear with. That would take up some room and if it were still empty I would just pack it with paper, I thought. Plus, I had the produce co-op to still go to and maybe there would be donations there. I really wasn't sure.

So, off I went to buy underwear. Wow! are they expensive or what? I started at Big Lots and was thinking I will definitely wait until Sam's Club because $1 a pair for panties or drawers was not worth it, in my opinion (said with sass). I went to the Produce Co-op next and was happy to see that there were donations there! Yeah, someone else responded! What a blessing! It wasn't going to fill the box though. I try to stoke my hope and just trust, but my heart isn't 100% in the right place.

Now, there were some bag donations, of clothing and such, that would have MORE than filled the box, but they were not the items that the mission team asked for this go round. So, I am going to figure out how I can use those items to maybe sell them and take that money to buy items to be donated. Bonus, hidden mission project! Thank you, thank you! Or, there is another mission organization I am involved with, and if you donated these things, would you let me know if these can go to them to help raise funds for the urban ministry 2nd Mile. They are having a Rummage Sale sometime soon. Double bonus!

Back to the box story. So, off to Sam's Club. Guess what? They don't sell kids underwear in bulk. I was shocked. What? If anything needed to be sold in bulk it's kids underwear! Alas, plan C would have to commence and I would have to actually give some thought to a plan C, since I didn't have one. My phone rings, it is Melissa with the produce co-op. Apparently there is another donation dropped off that I need to go back and pick up. She tells me it looks like good stuff too! I am excited! So, now that becomes plan D, but plan C-where to go... Wal-Mart, maybe, I pay and leave Sam's with no underwear. I'll pay whatever at this point to get underwear and get this box in the mail. I decide underwear sale shopping will need to become a regular part of my life, this is harder than I thought. Driving, I remember the store AJ Wright there on Beach Boulevard; I hit underwear heaven! I bought panties for $0.50 a pair! Boys underwear for $.67 -$1.00 but still pretty good. I load them into the box and an amazed that it is fairly full.

I head to Melissa's. When I got there I could have cried. 3 bags of stuff! Pencils, sharpeners, underwear (man I know that was a tough job-having it fresh on my mind), toothpaste, toothbrushes. The box was OVERFLOWING! I could not believe it. I could barely close it and we had to use extra tape to cover the opening because it would barely close!

I took it to the Post Office and we sent 31lbs, of good hot loving stuff to Orlando to go to Uganda, Africa! As I processed through the day's events. I thought of how good my Lord was. As I grumbled and contemplated an empty box, the Lord still blessed it in spite of my heart. As I retold the story to my husband we both cried because it is so often who we are. We want to do something, we start, it isn't going how we thought it would, we get a little attitude, God still blesses it in spite of us! I am overwhelmed and in love with My God!

I shared that to say... I know I said thank you to those that gave nothing at all, because you give me hope to press on! I am still collecting! Those that gave, want to keep giving? Another trip is going to Uganda in September. So, I have empty boxes that I am waiting on God to fill. However, full or empty I will praise the name of the Lord!

Thank you for listening to my tale of praise. I will share more as I hear how the trip went, hopefully we will have pictures as well. If you are on this email list and would like to be removed (please reply-with remove in the subject line) and I will not bother you again with this Uganda nonsense (she says with a silliness) But truthfully, we are all called to serve and this may not be "your" things and I want to respect that.

There are many worthwhile missions out there to be a part of. To know some that we are a part of you can read my blog entry: http://redeemedbeautifulmess.blogspot.com/2009/04/reaching-farther.html

I am thankful for you all! God bless you!

Jen

Full Life: Jesus Loves the little Choodren

Full Life: Jesus Loves the little Choodren#links Click and watch this short video that hopefully blesses your heart as it blessed mine!

For those that do not know, I have a heart for Uganda. I am overwhelmed, positively, with the blogs I have found with people who have adopted, are running orphanages, ministering, living and supporting those in Uganda. I was living in my little bubble, happy to sponsor 2 children and one project in Uganda. But these blogs are challenging my thinking, again positively.

I wanted to share this video because it made me laugh until I cried. Abs-so-lute-ly amazing!

Jesus loves the little choodren, all the choodren of the world!

Invisible Children

Email to my friends...

Several weeks ago our family saw a documentary called "Invisible Children" about children in Uganda that have to commute to cities and sleep basically in the streets for fear of abduction. Many children are kidnapped and forced to kill. It is an amazing documentary and
there is a huge movement that is trying to stop the war in Uganda by influencing our politicians.

For years these young filmmakers have fought for their plight; and with the voice of many have gained a huge ear to the public OPRAH WINFREY! The filmmakers will be on the
show today. I am so excited at the national attention this is getting. This has only happened in the last few days-because of people pushing for this to happen.

To learn more go to http://www.invisiblechildren.com/ and click on movement. Here in our city (and all over the world) several hundred (39,125 worldwide-and the numbers grow daily) people are already committed to lay down for what we believe in.

April 29th is the Global Night Commute our family is participating. While I have heard opposition saying it is scary to sleep in downtown Jacksonville; we have decided
the minimal fears we have of being with several hundred people in a public place, is NOTHING compared to what the children we are doing this for face NIGHTLY. I have contacted media groups to tell them what we are doing. I have sent emails, invited people to movie night
and feel that this is my last and final push for support. How can you help: pray, commute, write letters to government officials, send financial support, buy a bracelet, go to the website and check it out? If you want to borrow the video-I have it and will loan it to you. Just do something!
If you go to Oprah's site http://www.oprah.com/ and look at today's show information you will see it's about George Clooney and his story. Well his story is this story!! If you can't watch it later-you can click watch now under the picture and see it online-how cool is that!! If
you click on ways you can help-you will see invisible children and many other agencies working to stop the war and help the children.

We serve an AWESOME GOD!! Thank you friends for listening! May God bless you on your search for truth! Feel free to forward this to whomever you like!

Serving Christ, Jen Polk

Sleeping in the Park

written at 2:05am in Hemming Plaza

As I listen to the sound of the water fountain splashing it is peaceful. The brick beneath my thin comforter makes a hard bed. The friends gathered around me are both annoying and comforting by their presence. I look at the trees overhead illuminated by the landscape lighting and am at peace.

As I lay here hoping for peace for the war in Uganda, and a better life for the children there, I wonder will it truly make a difference? I am overwhelmed with the futility of it all. Of the millions of people that live in Jacksonville how many of them care that I am sacrificing my night of comfort in my own home for the cold hard concrete of my downtown city park. Who cares that my family, friends, and 100's of strangers-thousands if you count all the cities involved walked to the center of town to sleep to mimic the nightly ritual of children in Northern Uganda trying to have safety from rebel attacks and potential abduction and horrific other atrocities. How many citizens are aware, much less care? If people don't care how am I going to make a difference; but if I stop caring then what?

If I do what I do because people care what am I really doing it for? Am I doing it because I care or to make others care? I hope that what I and thousands of others are doing ends the war in Uganda. I don't know how. I look at Iraq and think maybe we can't help... But awareness must be raised! Freedom must be fought for! Atrocities must stop! And I am going to do my part by lying down!

The ground is hard; my coverings inadequate; and bottom line: I am uncomfortable! But my discomfort is NOTHING compared to what the thousands of night commuters in Northern Uganda face nightly! I wonder how many girls were raped last night, how many children abducted, how many children can't sleep because of fear of what tomorrow holds. So who cares if not one else cares! I care about them; I love them; they matter!

Want to care? http://www.invisiblechildren.com/

Do You Have a World Vision?

Have you ever thought about how truly blessed you are? I mean to simply live in the United States and be the poorest person, you are among the most wealthy people in the world. Even if homeless if you drink water from a city pond would be cleaner than water children
are dying from in Africa. We are broke right now in our minds-but we have a roof over our head, clean water, too much food and amenities out the wazoo! While I have no idea what the future holds for us financially there is no way I can sit and do nothing! So our family is sponsoring children in northern uganda that were formerly abducted child soldiers (http://www.invisiblechildren.com/.

I am asking for your help--I mean you have read this far-what is a few more paragraphs...

One, I want you to sign a petition and two I want you to seriously consider donanting $20.oo per month--we spend that in 1 trip to McDonalds-I take that from the ATM and can't account for it, I can barely buy a pair of pants for that--but you can change the course of history by just getting involved. Funny in the middle of composing this I got a message that my pastor had signed the petition and had forwarded the message on to our church-little does he know I also messaged them. It makes me smile-what a teeniny part i get to play-so you know what I copied some of
this blog and replied all that he sent his message to. HEE! A little soap box-praise God. Well, Hope you do something. Don't limit God by limiting your resources-He is a great big God that is intimately in love with you! Don't limit yourself by having a tiny little God!

Read on:
Please sign the following"Children Should Never Be Soldiers" Declaration
In northern Uganda, as many as 30,000 children have been kidnapped and forced to serve as soldiers in a nightmarish civil war that the world has largely ignored. These innocent children are brutalized and mutilated, forced to commit atrocities, and given as sex slaves to
military commanders. This targeted abuse of children is unacceptable.
As parents, people of faith, students and youth, we urge all parties involved in this conflict to find a peaceful resolution. We implore the United States government, the United Nations, and the international community to work diligently to bring peace and protection to the
children of northern Uganda. All children deserve to have a childhood free from torture and a future free from cruelty. www.worldvision.org/nochildsoldiers

Change Lives as a Gulu Community Partner
I pledge:
$20 per month
The Gulu area of northern Uganda is plagued by a triple scourge of war, AIDS and poverty. For 20 years, the rebel Lord's Resistance Army has been abducting and terrorizing children. At least one of every 10 people is infected with HIV almost twice the national average. And
children and families battle daily against grinding poverty, trapped in a crippling cycle of hunger, illness and poor education.

Your monthly gifts will provide access to resources that can give these hurting children the promise of a better future things like clean water, reliable food supplies, basic health care, education and economic opportunities for struggling families. You'll also support the Children of War Rehabilitation Center, where thousands of formerly abducted children have found peace, healing and hope for a new life. And you'll bring compassionate assistance to orphans, vulnerable children and other Gulu residents affected by AIDS through community-based networks of care.
Come on people! Get involoved.

A Moving Ceremony

I, _____, do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign
and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; and that I will obey the orders of the President of the United
States and the orders of the officers appointed over me, according to regulations and the Uniform Code of Military Justice. So help me
God." (Title 10, US Code; Act of 5 May 1960 replacing the wording first adopted in 1789, with amendment effective 5 October 1962).
As I heard over 30 young men and women swear out this oath of service (or something VERY close to it) I had to choke back tears. I have
never truly thought about the sacrifice of service of these young men until one of my very own "loved ones" offered to serve and protect.
He has a dream. He is persuing a goal. He is gaining a future. I am so proud. As we family and friends gathered to see this young man swear his oath and see him off to the airport we laughed and chatted about mostly
nothing; just soaking up the last few precious minutes with this amazing young man. What was the hardest thing for me to take was the
number of young men and women that had no one to see them off. Of everyone there Clay was one of about 5 that had family there. I know
some came from out of town, and I am sure there are a million excuses for why people weren't there. But I was moved to think: very often
this happens in my town and I have no idea. There are men and women swearing their lives to serve and no one there to support them,
encourage them and see them off. I know a few ways this will effect me but I do not know the depths of what God is doing.
As I skim the papers I usually skip over the "war" stuff. Not anymore. I want to pay attention to these people that are sacrificing so
much.
Dear friends, our family is collecting letters of encouragement to send to Clay during bootcamp and training. Why stop at Clay, start
writing to anyone. Just say thank you and some encouraging words. Let us be an example to all the young men and women that are serving.
You can give them to me in person or message me and I will print it and send it in the mail.
Thank you for listening.

Out of the Darkness

Every 18 minutes in the United States, someone dies by suicide.

This fall thousands of men and women will walk in over 70 communities across the United States, each contributing their voices to break the silence surrounding suicide. Walk to save lives...By walking in the 2006 Out of the Darkness Community Walks to benefit the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP), you will be walking with thousands of people nationwide to raise money for AFSP's vital research and education programs to prevent suicide and save lives, increase national awareness about depression and suicide, and assist survivors of suicide loss.

Walk in honor of a loved one...Many of our participants walk in memory of a loved one lost to suicide.

This is what I will be doing this Saturday morning. With my family and friends; walking out of the darkness. My life has been personally and tragically affected by suicide. My grandmother committed suicide when I was in the sixth grade. I could never understand why or how she could do that until I was in my twenty's and faced a deep haunting depression that fought to take my life. By the grace of God I made it through that time in my life. However, I recently have again been haunted by thoughts that are trying to steal my light. BUT the LIGHT that is in me, Jesus Christ, is more powerful and he loves me so much more than I can imagine. I have had amazing an amazing husband and friends to confide the thing that wanted to stay in the darkness-they listened-and helped me fight. By bringing this secret out into the light and letting all that care to see see I know that only God and God alone will get the glory in my life.

Ephesians 5:8-14 (New International Version)
For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light(for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) and find out what pleases the Lord. Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. For it is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret. But everything exposed by the light becomes visible, for it is light that makes everything visible. This is why it is said: "Wake up, O sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you."

And while I question the "why" of going through this I do not question the "how" watch me. I am coming out of the darkness.

Isaiah 9:2 (New International Version)The people walking in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of the shadow of death a light has dawned.

I read in a World Vision magazine "Have you noticed that any source of light looks brighter and more powerful at night? The darker the darkness, the more dazzling a light appears. I've found that the same is true of the light of the gospel. It shines most brilliantly when it pierces the world's darkest corners." (World Vision/Winter 2006/p4)

How can a cherished wife and the loving mother of two, who takes every opportunity to praise her God and serve Him ever contemplate suicide? Because I have an enemy that stalks his prey like a roaring lion seeking whom he can devour (1 Peter 5:8). I looked lame on the battle field, worn down from a war that I wasn't even fighting but the enemy underestimates the power of Christ in me. I do not fight alone. While I don't know all the whys, I know this time has a purpose- I know because this has been made so real to me: the reality of facing death--I cherish life more. I find pleasure in simple things. I am seeking to do the things I have always wanted to do. I am walking to signify to my Lord, myself, my family, and my friends that I want to walk out of the darkness. It is Christ who works in me to will and do His good pleasure. The Lord delights Himself in me… broken, but made whole in Him. (Philippians 2:13, 1 Kings 10:9, Matthew 15:31)

I am coming out of the darkness; fighting for my life, riding on the shoulders of my daddy because I am too weak to walk.

If you care to support me personally as I walk you can donate by clicking here.

Invisible Children

Invisible Children
So yeah, so my life chaos really is pretty insignificant when faced with the reality of other's lives. Not just people far away in Africa but brothers and sisters right here that are also seemingly invisible.

So God pierced my heart with a documentary about children in Uganda. If you want to see the video let me know I have a copy. Plus several people I know have a copy. Check out www.invisiblechildren.com to learn more.

Help stop a war that is robbing children of their freedom! Can you imagine if you had to allow your small children to walk alone from your suburb into the city for fear they would be abducted from your home. Can you imagine a childhood faced with fear of abduction, forced to fight in a war with no cause, and face the possibility of death and hunting if you escaped your abductors. Can you imagine losing friends, a brother or loved one to these killers--well THIS IS A REALITY!! It IS happening daily!! And you can help make our government DO something. Get involved!

Our family is participating in the Global Night Commute-you can learn more and see a commercial on the website as well. We will walk to the center of Jacksonville with 133 other people (so far) and hopefully get our governments attention! It is happening all over the world the same night! April 29th!

This will also be a major motion picture event as well. Go when you here about it!

I just wanted to get the word out to my friends. I had a wonderful friend introduce it to me and I want to keep it going.

Get involved, get uncomfortable, and open your eyes! I know i pray mine will never be shut!!
Don't just go read more retarded stuff on My Space-go check this stuff out-It is WAY more important! www.invisiblechildren.com

I'll Be Gone For a Bit

I will not be on for a few days. I am on my way to Jacksonville to minister to my sister Kim Reeves who is very sick. I am so thankful for a precious husband that lays down his needs so I can be there for my friends. Not even sure she needs me there, but I need to be
there for her and the kids. Satan has been trying to attack me since my husband said i should go (last night @ 11:30p)--and I won't take it! My heart hurts for all the trials in their life right now. Please pray for this precious family! So here I go!

Maybe I'll get to see some of you while I am there!

Love you all! I'm out!

Building Bridges for Keeps

So, there is a most amazing young man that God has brought into my life. A young man who was totally not like me or in my comfort zone at the time. Meaning not like the typical teenagers I had ministered to. But this young man taught me more about myself that I can even express. He, by just totally being himself taught me about loving people right where they are. Do you have that special person that you just know God has something amazing for them...I know some of you do, because we have talked about them. Do you look at people for who they are not what they are doing?

This blessed young man is going through a real tough trial right now, discovering whether to serve self or God. (I bet he is convincing himself that serving God is not an option) It is a journey we all must go through, dying to our selfish desires and living in the truth of who God is. We all make choices in life-some good some not so good, but I tell you the truth that the most horrific, ugly times in my life are the thing that God has turned around and used for His glory! I know as God reveals Himself to this young, beautiful man, that he will see the truth, he will see the light, he will feel the love--and run with reckless abandon back into the arms of his loving Father. But the truth is Abba's been there all along. When he was alone, scared, tired, hungry, Daddy was there in the sunset, the wind, the beautiful and not so beautiful.

Please pray with me in one accord that no matter what or how long, this young man will see the truth of God's love, the truth of our (the body) love, and the truth of the beauty of his life. I don't want him to be deceived by lies, the voices convincing him that he is worthless, stupid, helpless, alone. I want him to know the truth! He is the beloved, poem, masterpiece of god, a new creation!

What are you building for eternity's sake, are you worried about the temporary things that rust, a mold, and fall away, or are you building things that last for eternity. Helping people know the truth about whom God is- is the most important thing you can do... Helping people bridge the gap between themselves and God. So, I'll spend my time, building bridges!